fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
