He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Small penises have feelings too.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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