Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
