I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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