At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
This toilet bowl is my home.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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