I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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