i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
