You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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