Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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