Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
