is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
