I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
