shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
