I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
