We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I think my fart just growled at me.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
