I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
