All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
