so explain again why im purple
no
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
