so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
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