C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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