highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
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You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
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No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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