I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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