btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
