I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I need to align my fucking chakras
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
