Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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