We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
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