ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Need sex. Gaining weight.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I stole a fireplace last night.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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