Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Randomize
