wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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