she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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