And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
