Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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