She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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