Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
