Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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