just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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