Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
