i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
