I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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