How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
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