that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
