Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
