she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
We talked him into tasing himself.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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