i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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