How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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