This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize