who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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