i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
