I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
