Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
