at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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