I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
