why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Oh god it's open bar.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
