ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
