Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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