My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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