I think my vagina is haunted
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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