Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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