dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
