Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
the day after is always just damage control
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
