She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
