you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
