Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
