I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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