Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
