Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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