Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
