He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize