my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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