He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
