i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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