i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
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