six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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